Begun, the New Year Has

So.
Its January 1 2013.
Another year.

I guess I should begin by introducing myself. I am Bill. I just turned 45 about a week and a half ago. If I had known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself. I have moderate to severe depression and anxiety issues, a lot of self doubt and adequacy issues and more assorted baggage than a large department store. I am hoping this blog can help me deal with and change some of that. I was turned on to the idea of therapeutic writing by a girl I am very close to and I have been toying with the idea of starting something like this for a while now. The beginning of a new year seems as good a time as any, right? I usually think New Year resolutions are just so much bullshit, and therefore dont make them, so I figured I would make a list of stuff I want to try to work on this year instead. Things that I know would do me some good if I can accomplish them. With that in mind, here are a few things:

* I have created a Flickr page. I will try to put at least 200-300 pictures in it in 2013. Most, if not all, will be linked here.

* I have a 10" Android tablet and have the Kindle app on it. I am going to try to read 30 books this year. Again, most if not all will be linked here.

* I will try to improve my self care. Shower every day, brush my teeth every day, make sure I take all my meds every day and get prompt refills when I run out.

* As a side benefit of taking my meds every day, I will make sure the pets get their meds every day when they need them. They dont deserve to suffer because I feel lazy or out of sorts.

* I am going to try to do the dishes every day as needed and laundry once a week. In addition I want to try to get us a washer and dryer so laundry isnt such a hassle.

* Of course getting a washer and dryer involves getting a job and going back to work. Depending on the day, I have anywhere from a tight feeling in my chest to a full on panic attack when I think about getting a job these days. I need to get over that shit and get back to work, there is a lot of money out there and more of it needs to have my name on it.

* I will try to be more social and not give in to real or imagined feelings of wanting to isolate myself and be unsociable. I have some good people in my life and I dont see enough of them. I need to remember that more often.

* I am going to try to take more pictures and get more serious about photography in general this year. I love photography and have since I was a kid, there has to be something I can do with it

I figure this is a good start for now. I am hoping my friends will help me with this stuff and keep me accountable this year. I would really appreciate it.

Speaking of which, one more thing I want to work on is people. I need to try to pick out the people that are good and healthy for me to be around and spend more time with them and leave the people that I cant trust or that arent good for me alone. I have always loved The Crazy when it comes to women and in the immortal words of Roger Murtaugh "Im getting too old for this shit"