OKC and Me!

OK, this might make me sound like a snob or something, but Im really not. I have been redoing my OKCupid profile after getting a message on there from a friend I already knew. I took a look at my profile and I decided it could be a lot better. I redid it and then started looking around at other profiles and am sort of wondering why I bothered.

PSA: If you are proud enough of your education to say that you went to “collage”, Im not going to even look at the rest of your profile. If you say you are always “loosing” your keys and it drives you crazy, Im passing you by. If your entire profile contains one period, one comma and one random other form of punctuation, you will not be hearing from me. Grammar isnt that hard and it isnt your enemy.
     If you mention God more than once or twice, Im going to pass. I appreciate sadism, it just isnt a quality I want in a Deity.
     I will judge you if your pictures are out of focus. Call it a quirk, but really...is it that hard to focus? The camera usually does it for you these days. If you do that ducklips thing, I reserve the right to send you a mocking message. That was never cool, not even when those orange freaks from New Jersey tried to make it popular.
     If you dont fill out your profile at all, why would anyone message you? You’re either lazy or not willing to try, no one has time for that shit.
     If you make fun of, talk shit about or in any way disparage gay people, trans people, or anyone else for that matter, I will likely write you hate mail after I report your profile for general fucktardedness.
     If you say you dont like animals at all, just fuck you in general.
     If you feel the need to body shame anyone for any reason, I hope the people you despise most start sending you pictures of their genitals and never stop. May you wake up to an inbox full of cock every morning and go to sleep dreaming about it.
     If you use letters where there should be words, I hope you get run over by a bookmobile you lazy fuck. Type that shit out, it isnt that hard.

So here we are. The new version of my profile is up and running and I messaged a girl or two. Im not holding my breath for anything great to happen, but surprises are always nice :)