Social Media and Bucket Lists

So its only the second of January and already I am seeing a lot of negativity and passive aggressiveness on social media. What the fuck, humans? Are you not going to even give the new year a chance to gt underway good before you start dwelling on shit from the past? Some free advice from your old Uncle Bill, it makes you look bad. It changes the way people think about you. It keeps negativity and useless feelings in your mind. What grade are we in now?

Disclaimer: When I say negativity and passive aggressiveness, Im not talking about Vaguebooking once in a while or venting on any social media site once in a while. Everyone falls to that level very occasionally. Im talking about constantly, even over time, sniping and lobbing hurtful things from the sidelines. Im talking about acting as if you were never happy with that one person or living in that one place or having that one thing. If you were never happy and stayed/lived/existed so long, you pretty much deserve the butthurt you are experiencing. If you were happy, even occasionally, and stayed that long then you did so for a reason and you should dwell on the happy times and what you took away from that and from those times.

Its pretty much not a secret that The Girl and I have had a rough time for a while in our relationship. Stress coming from both the outside and from within came probably closer than either of us realize to tearing us apart. It scared the fuck out of me and still does when I think about it, but neither of us ever took to social media and fired shots at the other. There was random Vaguebooking and Fetlife sniping, but it was mostly done without thinking and there damn sure wasnt a lot of it and most of what there was was misdirected. As I said, everyone falls to that level once in a while.

Since I restarted therapy, I have been learning new ways of dealing with feelings and emotions that can tend to bring such times about. I have made some pretty big steps recently in letting go of and dealing with feelings and thoughts about certain things that affected our relationship and still continue to do so. Not to be immodest, but I am sort of proud of myself and I like the feeling, both the feeling I got when I dealt with things in a productive way and the feeling that continues of less stress and trouble in my primary relationship. It feels good to deal with things and be able to say that I did it in a productive and helpful manner instead of resorting to sniper shots from the dark and overblowing the negatives until they are huge and mythical. I am learning to trust and to accept trust when it is offered to me also. This is huge for me.

I have never been one for New Years resolutions. I usually blow them off pretty quickly, like most other people, and forget about them. A few friends on Fetlife and Facebook have started doing Bucket Lists for each year and then going back at the end of the year to check their progress or posting updates through the year as they check off a list item. I think this may be a good substitute and have started working on a 2014 Bucket List:

1. I want to lose 50 pounds before GLLA 2014
2. I want to do the Exotic Feline Rescue Center’s “Run Through The Jungle” 5k walk/run in May 2014
3. In an effort to make the above two happen as well as get my body in better shape to go along with getting my mind in better shape, I am going to join Golds Gym and start exercising more
4. Continue to work on improving my primary relationship. Develop a healthy and good secondary relationship(s). There are already candidates for this that I like very much. This is a good feeling and a good thing

I think thats enough of a list for now, there are some pretty big goals there. Enough to keep me busy for a while, I suspect. Some of the people I know are also doing kinky bucket lists, I am going to work on one of those and make it a separate post.

Now I go forth onto the internet and attempt to locate the unicorn that is a pair of size 18 high top sneakers that dont cost a million dollars because they have some asshole I dont care abouts name on them. Preferably in black. The shoes, not the asshole I dont care about.

Wish me luck...