Strange things are afoot...

Hey guys, its me again. I havent written in way too long and there is a lot to catch up on, but thats going to have to wait a little longer. I am writing tonight to share a story about something that happened to me today.

So I have this friend. She lives way south of me and we very rarely see each other. We used to talk every day but we sort of drifted apart, no ones fault, just something that happened. But today that changed.

Sometime late afternoon Monday I had a very strong surge of protectiveness towards her and worry about her. That doesnt happen to me a lot and I tend to take it sort of seriously when it does. So I texted her for the first time in probably six months. I didnt want to freak her out or scare her so I just said the standard stuff, hey Im thinking about you type thing. She texted me back and asked me if I heard about it already, and I asked what was going on. 

This morning on her way to the gym she hit and killed a pedestrian. Its affecting her pretty badly. She is OK, thank the gods, just a broken windshield. Im so glad, I would completely lose my shit if she got hurt, and told her so.

We texted for the better part of two hours as I walked around the Butler campus (new job, I will talk about it in the next post) and I think I helped her. I care about her a great deal, we have a bit of a history, so the idea that I helped makes me feel really good.

Its strange the way things happen sometimes. 

The story of Streetlamp LeMoose

I found this on Reddit and its one of the best things I have ever read. A Redditor was trying to convince a fellow Redditor to name a child Streetlamp LeMoose and wrote this EPIC life story. In my next life, I really want to be Streetlamp.

Imagine this, your son - Streetlamp Le Moose - classy motherfucker. He turns 5, starts going to Preschool - the fisrt day, his teacher is doing roll call and gets to his name. She looks up, creases her brow and reads again, sure that she made a mistake. 'Streetlamp?' She says. Her brow still furrowed, looking around at the collection of eager kids cross-legged at her feet.
Enter, Mr Streetlamp, is he wearing a Sesame Street shirt? No. He's wearing a shirt, tie too - he looks at the teacher and says 'Yes Miss?' - classy. The whole class is looking at him now, admiring his fashion sense, his awesome name, his doubley good name. The rest of them - their name is only good for a girl or a boy, but for both - this kid surely must be a God.
'Oh my, Mr Streetlamp,' the teacher will say, 'you sure have a unique name.'
'I'm a unique guy,' he'll reply. Turning to the cutie decked out in her floral dress next to him and shooting her a wink.
Fade to black.
Third grade, Streetlamp starts making ripples through his Primary School. People have a problem? Streetlamp will sort them. Lost a ball? Streetlamp has got your back. Skip rope gone missing? Streetlamp got you.
He's earning the admiration and respect of those in the years above him, and soon enough, he's becoming this local legend - Streetlamp, the man that gets things done. His unique, amazing name has pushed him to be a unique, amazing gentleman - kind hearted - check, brave - check, athletic - check, intelligent - you betcha.
His reputation precedes him, the kids graduating that year are going to go to their middle schools, and the legend of Streetlamp Le Moose will spread further. The kid that's unstoppable. The classy motherfucker that does what's right, and does it well.
Seventh Grade - Time to start middle school. Hormones start to kick in. By now, there are some overdeveloped dickish guys teasing him. You know what Streetlamp does? He doesn't fight back, he doesn't wage warfare against them, he just grins. Every night he runs, every night he works out - his muscles are starting to develop - his facial structure, impeccable. He's beautiful.
The bullies aren't caring though - they're just continuously ripping into him, day after day. So what do you do when you're pushed, repeatedly, Snap? Not Streetlamp. Streetlamp waits until they're seperated from one another, approaching and befriending each one on their own. Gets to know them, finds out that the bigger one - George, he's secretly in love with this girl, and been trying to rip on Streetlamp because he's a baller and the girls love him, trying to prove that he's more attractive by bullying him.
So Streetlamp, the good guy that he is, goes and approaches the girl, starts talking George up, telling her what a great guy he is really. Soon enough, they're going on a date - the kind of cheesy date that 7th graders go on, that trip to the movies where they gingerly hold hands half way into the movie and she blushes and his breath increases in pace, nerves racing, heart pumping with such ferocity.
Fastforward, Streetlamp the Freshman (Fresh Man) - His rep has spread through the HighSchool already. You remember that cute girl in the floral from Preschool? Yeah, she goes to the same one. She's developed pretty well - looking beautiful. First day of class, the teacher's doing roll call, she looks at the list, furrows her brow - looking up. She lowers her head, reading again. 'Streetlamp... Le Moose?' she says.
He looks up from the discussion he's having with one of the buddies that he'd made through George - talking about cologne or something like that - 'Yes Miss,' he says. He looks around, catching the eye of floral girl - winking at her once again.
She giggles - blushing.
They start dating a few weeks later, her names Abigail, it's a good relationship - he treats her well, not needy - not clingy, but just enough attention for her to feel loved, for her to spread the rumour that he's an amazing boyfriend, and an amazing guy.
Junior Year, Streetlamp and Abigail have broken up - it was mutual. It wasn't because there were problems in the relationship, Floral girl just started thinking that they should see other people, she didn't feel like she was good enough for him. He always treated her so well, and she'd never dated a guy before. It was feeling too serious, and she didn't want to get serious so soon.
Streetlamp? He didn't mind, he made sure they remained friends - they still eat lunch together most days, take the same classes and talk a lot. He started playing football, Quarterback - Coach is saying that his AP Calc and Physics classes are really helping him with his arch, and his AP classes in Ancient history have made him a master strategist.
Nobody quite knows how he does it - 8 AP classes in Junior year while being the Quarterback of the #7 ranked team in the country. He practices incessantly, studies even more. It should take it's toll on his health, but it doesn't, he stays on top of it all.
By now, the whole school knows who he is, and there's a non stop stream of Sophmores and Juniors approaching him in the hallway asking if he wants to come to this or that party. He's the sweetheart of the school, and the sort of boy that every girl in the school fantasises about. George? Linebacker on the team, best buddies by now - him and the girl dated for a while but it's well and truly over now.
Enter Friday night; House party in the suburbs. Streetlamp rocks up with buddies late, 10 or 11 at night. Everyone is well and truly drunk. A huge cheer erupts when they walk in - he's handed a beer as soon as he enters. He offers it to George - he doesn't drink, his mind is his best instrument, he doesn't want to damage it.
Senior's hanging by the staircase, she's wearing an olive miniskirt and one of those ripped tees. Her hard body, tightly encased. 'Hi Streetlamp,' she says.
'Well Hi There.'
'You want to come upstairs with me?'
Fade to black.
Senior year, Streetlamp and Abigail have drifted apart.
He's dating the tightbody. She's 18 months older, going to college nearby. He thought there might be some issue due to her being college, him senior year, but no such issue. He was a local hero by now - the football team was speculated to be #1 in the country this year with him as the QB - Schools all over the country were scouting him.
People latched onto her to be friends by association, she filters all the ones that aren't good people - she's good like that. He's studying pretty hard, and training too - it's a big year for him. He spends half his time at the college taking classes, the other half is at the school, a few classes being taken, but the majority spent devising new plays for the Football team.
He's turned into a natural born leader.
He goes out to one of the girlfriends college parties. While he's there, he gets introduced to this girl - Amber. Now, Amber isn't what he's used to - the girls that surround him are the typical preppy 'Forever 21' shoppig silicon clones of one another. Amber though, she was witty, dry, ironic and twisted.
They become friends, no romantic inclinations. The girlfriend gets worried. Streetlamp tells her not to, Streetlamp only has loving enough for one girl - and that's her.
Few weeks later, Amber and Streetlamp are becoming pretty tight - Amber reveals she's a lesbian. Streetlamp, being the classy motherfucker/good guy that he is doesn't care. Instead, he puts some feelers out and finds a few girls around her age that he thinks she'll like.
He sets up a few blind dates. The first one, didn't go so well - they didn't get along. The second, it seemed to go great, but Amber wasn't a fan. She's getting pretty distant with him, he asks her what's up - she reveals she actually is in love with Tightbody.
Dilemma.
Streetlamp Le Moose, being deserving of the good guy name, sets up the threesome. Amber gets to live out her desires, Tightbody gets to experience the typical lesbian phase in College, and he sits back.
The news of his sexual prowess spreads. Tightbody ends up falling for Amber, and they start dating. Streetlamp Le Moose, Angry? Nope. He's happy for them. He's proud.
Graduation. Valedictorian, #1 Football Team in the Country, Accepted a Place at Stanford doing Pre-Law. He gives his speech and talks about his life, how he's been empowered and how he's lucky to have such a loving and caring family. How his dad is his hero. He starts crying - he doesn't hide it. He keeps his chin up and lets the tears roll down his face as he tells them about all that his mother and father gave up for him, how they taught him to be the person that he is today.
A lot of people are crying along with him.
After the ceremony, the principal shakes his hand, telling him that it's the finest speech that he has ever heard.
He throws a party that night, he asks his mother and father to stay home and celebrate with him. He's still not drinking, but he lets everyone around him drink. Nobody gets too wasted out of mutual respect for him.
The doorbell rings. One of his buddies starts to get up to answer it.
'No, dude, relax! Have a good time,' Streetlamp says.
He opens the door and who's there; Floral.
His voice catches in his throat, he stammers for a second, 'H-hi,' he manages to spit out. He's never been tongue tied around a girl before. She's got long auburn hair now, it goes past her shoulders, and she's wearing a floral print dress.
'Nice dress, I haven't seen you in one like that since...' His thought trailed.
'Since Preschool, I know.'
She smiled at him.
Second year of College, Starting QB of the Stanford Cardinal.
He's got a passing rating of 176.4 over the season. His coach says that he's really become a leader in the team. A lot of the pro teams are looking at him, he's being pressured into declaring for the draft. It's a dilemma, Streetlamp loves Football, but he also loves learning.
He's sharp witted in his Law classes; topping the yeargroup. He's been asked by his professors to help TA'ing some of the first year classes. They're pretty boring; he didn't really enjoy them the first time around, but Streetlamp has never been one to turn down an opportunity.
First day as a TA - Introduction to Corporate Law. He turns up about 20 minutes early and takes a seat in the third row back. He's always wanted to pull the cliched 'Talk to student, Make comments about the Lecturer, Walk up and become lecturer' move. He sits down next to a girl - cropped brunette hair spiked up at the back, a biker jacket on.
'Well, you're a rare sight in a class like this,' he says, turning to her.
She turns to him, grinning. 'Streetlamp?'
'Abigail? I hardly recognised you.'
She laughed, 'It's been an interesting year.'
'I can tell.'
A middle aged man walked in, heading down the stairs towards the front of the stage.
'You're taking first year law?' She asked.
'Something like that.'
The man took the podium, scanning the students. 'Ah, Streetlamp, just who I wanted to see. Get on up here,' he says - the attention of the whole lecture theatre suddenly on him.
That year, him and Abigail get close again, friends - they talk most nights. It turns out their dorms aren't that far away from each other. Turns out that she'd gotten into pre-med at Harvard, but dropped out during her first semester. She'd taken to goign out every night, partying hard enough to make most college students envious.
She'd changed. She was no longer a sweet girl, but she was an amazing one. She never acted like an idiot around him, or sucked up to him, or tried to be cute - she was just who she was.
As the year progressed, the football season wore on. They were going undefeated in their division. Two other teams were undefeated too though, it was uncertain whether or not they'd go to the BCS. When they were selected, there was an uproar. Everyone just presumed it was because of Streetlamp that they'd gotten through.
That year, they win the BCS.
Third year, last year of Pre-Law.
Abigail and Streetlamp start dating. The Coach of the Cardinal's didn't like it to begin with. There was a lot of conflict - he thought that she was bad for him, that she was dangerous. The cropped spikey hair and leather she always wore - even in the dead of summer didn't help Streetlamp's case.
It was a Tuesday night that the sparks truly flew. Streetlamp was sitting in Coach's office, a combination of Mahogany and Red lush carpet (Coach had been given a raise after the BCS championship).
'It isn't acceptable Streetlamp. I can't have my star athlete going around dating somebody like that. It isn't just about you anymore. It's about your career, it's about the public perception, it's about our fans and the teams that are scouting you - that want you. Is it really worth risking all of that for -' he paused, a look of disgust on his face, 'her?'
'Quite frankly coach,' he said, staring him straight in the eyes, 'I couldn't care less. I try to always do what's right, and to always be honest, and that's what I'm going to do now. Abigail is the girl that I care about, that I love, her appearance be damned. She is the single most kind, caring, intelligent and brilliant girl that I have ever met, and if you were to ask me to give up either her or football. Well, I'd have to have a long think about that.'
'Boy, I've been where you are before. I've cared for, god damn - I've loved girls with more of me than I care to admit, but this is your future. This is the rest of your life. She isn't the type that you marry. She's the type that you fuck for a few years, spend your fortune on and then leaves you for your best buddy.' He inhaled, tearing up a little bit, 'I just don't want to see you hurt by her Streetlamp.'
'I understand Coach, but you have to understand me. I've known her for most of my life, I've trusted her with all that I am, and she hasn't betrayed me. Sure, we have rough patches, we drift apart sometimes, but we always come back. We. Always. Come. Back. Football is one thing coach, but a life without the girl that I love - that's something completely different.'
They sat in silence for a little while. Coach staring at his desk and Streetlamp, at his lap.
Streetlamp's voice croaked as he started to speak again; 'If you're asking me to choose between football and the love of my life, you know the answer.'
That season, they went undefeated again with Streetlamp starting every single game. His passing rating sat on 192.1 for the season, and the speculation surrounding his decision at the end of the year was making the news every single night.
A lot of the pro teams have been flying out their coaches to talk to him. He's not sure. He's conflicted; ambivalent.
It was late on a Friday that he decided to seek advice. He called his father; the rock of his life. The man that had always been there for him, loved and cared for him. The man that would give up everything for his son's happiness.
'Son,' his father had said, 'You've always loved Football, but you've always loved helping people too. I think that's the quality that I most admire in you. You're a special kid, the best son that a father can hope for, and one that I'm so very proud of.' Streetlamp could hear his father crying now, 'I don't know what decision you'll make, but I know you, and I know that whatever decision you come to is going to be the right one.'
Draft day 2032.
Streetlamp is paraded across the stage along with the rest of the speculated top draft picks. He wears a nice suit with a plain white shirt underneath and a crisp dark tie. Just looking at him, you can tell that behind those eyes lurks an incredible intellect.
The introductory proceedings stretch on for half an hour, but finally, they're backstage again. Streetlamp sighs, his nerves holding his chest in a vice.
'It's going to be fine honey.' She says, hugging him tight to her chest.
'I know. It's just. Wow.'
'Who would've thought, hey?'
'Who would've thought.'
'I always knew, I read a story about you once,' said his Father, joking to relieve the tension. 'Best god damn story ever written.'
Streetlamp laughed. 'That's ridiculous.'
'Loosened you up though, didn't it?'
'Sure did.'
There was a short silence. Streetlamp rubbed his eyes.
'Did you get much sleep last night?' His mother asked.
'Not enough.' Streetlamp said, 'the nerves, y'no.'
'First pick, I'm telling you son. LA Jaguars - your new home.'
The introductions are done - the elderly Peyton Manning stands in front of thousands of fans - millions watching live at home.
'The first pick of the 2032 draft goes to the LA Jaguars.'
A tense minute passes. Streetlamp watches the action on a small tv in the backstage area - a camera up in his face.
Another minute passes. He starts to panic. Abigail clutches his hand. Staring at her, he can't help but smile. Over the last year, she'd traded her cropped hair for a longer style, and her leather in for sweaters and blouses. She never did say why, but he suspected that word got back to her about his confrontation with the coach. He'd asked, but she just denied.
'... and with the first pick of the 2032 NFL draft, the LA Jaguars pick... Streetlamp Le Moose!'
His jaw drops, exhaling deeply, his eyes wide open. His mother and father are jumping up and down screaming, Abigail is clutching on to him tighter than ever. 'You did it,' she says, 'you did it.'
The day after, the contract had been drawn up, including the special circumstances. The news story broke that night 'Streetlamp Le Moose - Signed for $47 million over 7 years. Reported to also be attending Law School as well.'
He's taking the degree externally.
He'd told his father the day before the signing. He'd been accepted to Yale.
2036
He hesitated briefly, enough time for a grin to stretch ear to ear.
'I do.'
'You may now kiss the bride.'
With that, he removed the veil from over Abigails face. She smiled back at him. Her hair was well past her shoulders now, and stuck a little to the veil. He wiped it off, tucking it behind her ear.
'I love you, you know.'
She smiled 'I know.'
In that moment, during that kiss, he felt like he'd never kissed a girl before, like this was the beginning of a lot of firsts.
He slipped the ring onto her finger, it was simple - plain. White gold with an inlay of diamonds.
She slipped his on, plain gold. It contrasted beautifully with the 2 over-designed superbowl rings on his right hand.
The same year, he stood in front the graduation class of Yale Law School.
'I don't know very many of you,' he said, 'and that's a shame. I don't doubt that you're all wonderful people, and it pains me to have not had the opportunity to meet and spend time with you all. We have all had a tough few years, struggling through Corporate Law and the intricacies of Civil Procedure, but, we made it."
'Today," he started, staring out at the crowd 'we stand not students, but Lawyers. We stand as the guardians of justice. We stand as the defenders of good. We stand as the people that can make a physical, tangible change to the world for the better.'
'I want to tell you all a story. In middle school, I fell in love with a girl. I ran into her again in my second year of pre-law. She didn't look like she used to, or act like the person she once was, but love doesn't discriminate.'
'I had to make on of the hardest decisions of my life that year. My coach asked me to choose between playing football and being with the person that I love. He asked me to choose because of how she looked, of how she was perceived, of the person that he believed that she was judging only on the superficial. I chose her.'
'That day, it struck me, there's a lot of people in this world that judge and believe based solely off the superficial. There are a lot of people that don't care to take the time to get to know somebody, to care for them and understand them. I ask everybody here today to remember this, and hold it as tightly as I do.'
'It is our job now to fight for people who can't fight anymore, it is not our job to judge them for how they got there. It is our job to create permanent, lasting change - not to make our world appear better, to make it actually better.'
'I would like to leave you today with a quote; “The real judges of your character aren't your neighbors, your relatives, or even the people you play bridge with. The folks who really know you are waiters, waitresses, and clerks."'
'Thankyou.'
2041
His office overlooked the field. Deep, white lines punctuated the lush grass. 'Ever going to upgrade to astroturf Sir?' Streetlamp asked.
The franchise owner laughed. It was a deep laugh, jolly even - he was the type of man that could make a child believe there was Santa for a few more years. 'I can't stand the stuff,' he said, 'if it's not real, it can't be good.'
'Ah, I'm a bit the same, I've been almost too careful since Chair came along.'
'Chair? Your son right?'
'Yes sir. Chair De'Burlap.'
'Interesting name. Strong name.' He said, his brow creased, nodding. 'You think he's going to become a legendary quarterback like his father?'
Streetlamp laughed, 'I'm not a legend yet sir.'
The owner, suddenly taking a stern tone, 'Son, you will be after you sign this. You do understand what this makes you, right?'
'The highest paid quarterback in the league?'
'The highest paid quarterback in the league.' He shook his head. 'What're you going to do with all that money?'
'Good Sir, I'm going to do good.'
'I'm sure you will son.'
That night, Streetlamp picked up his phone. He went to speeddial and pressed 1. His fathers voice met him on the other end of the line.
'Hey dad,' he said.
'Streetlamp! How're you going? How's Chair?'
'We're good dad. I signed the new contract today.'
'I saw - it's all over the news. $180 million, it's a lot of money.'
'That it is.'
'Any plans for what you're going to do with it?'
'I'm opening my own charity. I've been doing a bit of pro-bono work with sexually assaulted women,' he paused, 'these women dad. They're broken. They're violated and they're broken. It's like somebody has reached inside and stolen all that is theirs. Removed any safety in their life.'
He paused.
His father remained silent on the other end of the line. He knew by now when Streetlamp just needed to compose his thoughts.
'I can't make it all better for them dad, but I can try to help them.'
'That's very noble.'
'It's just the right thing to do.'
'You always do the right thing.'
Streetlamp heard the doorknob jiggle, and watched as Abigail got home.
'Hey babe, good day?' She'd shed the baby weight amazingly quick.
'It was great, I'm just on the phone with Dad.'
'Tell him I say hi.'
'Will do.'
'Was that Abi?' Streetlamp's Dad asked.
'Sure was. She says hi.'
'I'll let you go then. Tell her I say hi back.'
'Okay, Bye Dad. I love you.'
'Love you too son.'
Streetlamp leaned back in the chair. His head throbbing.
'I saw the news,' said Abigail.
'It's hard not to now-a-days.'
'$180 million is a lot of money.'
'I know.'
'How much are you pledging to the charity.'
'I wanted to talk to you about that. I was thinking...' his sentence trailed off.
'Yes?'
'I was thinking I'd pledge $170 million. If you're okay with that.'
'I'm more than okay. I'm proud of you.'
2046:
'Breaking news: Jaguars' star quarterback Streetlamp Le Moose has called a press conference.'
Abigail stood opposite him, adjusting his tie. 'Are you sure you want to do this?'
'I've never been more sure.'
'But, you love football.'
'I love my family more. Last week was too close for comfort, I can't lose you. I can't leave you to look after Chair and Annie alone.'
'You're a good father.'
'You're the best mother.'
She smiled at him, and pecked him on the lips.
A thin blonde woman pokes her head out from the corridor, 'Mr Streetlamp, Sir. Are you ready?'
'Yes, I am Jessie.'
He reached into his pocket, making sure that his palm cards were there. Adjusted his suit jacket, inhaled and exhaled exactly once and walked out, making his way on stage.
'And here he is, moving surprisingly well considering last weeks accident,' said one news reporter.
'He's spent the last week flanked by reports that he's injured and unable to play for the rest of the season, looking at him now, I feel confident in speculating that those reports are false.' Another said.
Taking the lecturn, Streetlamp sighed, pulling out his palm cards and scanning the first one before he began speaking.
'Ladies and Gentleman, Reporters, Sportsfans, the American Public, today, I stand in front of you with two things to tell you. It is with great sadness that I must announce my retirement from the NFL.'
A wave of frenzied whispers crashed over the crowd.
'Last week, as you all know, I was on the recieving end of a high tackle, and as I'm sure you all know, it rendered me unconscious. Funnily enough, it was being knocked unconcious that woke me up to the fact that I'm no longer a young man. I'm not in the same athletic shape as I once was.'
'I'm not going to lie to you, it was scary for me. I have an amazing son, Chair De'Burlap, who's starting preschool this year, and the most beautiful daughter any man could hope for. I could not bear to lose either one of them, or have them grow up without a father.'
'My father was the lynchpin of my childhood, really, he's still the lynchpin of my life now. He is the most caring, passionate, loving person in my life, mark my mother, and I don't think I'd be one tenth of the person I am today if it wasn't for him.'
'I've been blessed with an amazing career, and a team full of the best people I could ever hope to meet, and I apologise to them for putting them in this position. I'm sorry, but my family will always come first. Marcus Delroy is a brilliant quarterback, and I'm sure the team will be more than safe with him.'
'I've achieved a lot of things over the last few years. I've opened my own charity, I've defended the rights of women who couldn't afford defending, I've raised money for cancer awareness and for lower-income neighbourhoods. I've always had the desire to make the world a better place, and I've always aspired to live up to this desire. It is with this in mind that I make my second announcement.'
He looked down at his cards, breathing in and out deeply, 'In the next election, I will be running as Governor of California. Thankyou.' He walked off stage.
2056: 'Ladies and gentleman,' Streetlamp said, his voice poised, his back straight, 'I would like to thank you all for your ongoing support over the last two years. I would like to thank you all for your faith in me, and for the faith in my party.'
'Today,' he paused, 'today is the beginning of a new day. The start of a new people. We have experienced economic hardship, political insecurity, civil unrest and abuse of powers in this century, and I am proud to say that I will the be the one to bring an end to this.'
An eruption of applause encapsulated the room.
'The United States was once a great country. It was once a nation that stood for the very fundamental rights of Freedom, Liberty and Justice. It pains me, as an American, that our fine country was sullied by the irresponsible and reckless actions of a minority put in a position of power, and I'm sure it pains you too.'
'I ran in this election to give a voice to the people that have never had a voice. To restore the country to a place that judged not on what is presented superficially, but on the quality of their ideas, the strength of their convictions, and on the greatness of their character.'
'Citizens of the United States, Citizens of the World, today, we have made the first step towards a tangible change for the better. We have made the first step to the enablement of our people. We have made the first step towards restoring our country to the greatness that it once was.'
'I am thankful, and I am grateful to all who voted for me. I look forward to creating a better country, and creating a better world.'
With that, Streetlamp existed the stage. Abigail waited in the wings for him, embracing him she whispered seductively 'Hello Mr. President.'
He smiled at her, chuckling, 'Hello, First Lady,'
This is what happens if you call your son Streetlamp Le Moose. Are you really going to deprive him of that?

Fire and Feelings

We went to Klub Layden tonight for a Spring Equinox celebration. A lot of the kinksters in this area are pagan, wiccan or other alternative religions and it never fails to amaze me when we get together and I see the different things and feelings my friends bring. Tonight there was a lot of good discussion on a variety of topics as sage and sweetgrass burned and people wrote letters and offerings to be burned later in the evening.

I took letters and drawings and writings from a past love for the fire. I have written about her before, and how badly it ended. It should have been forever and then some but it wasnt and I have been angry for a long time now about that. I put aside friends and family for this girl. I spent time with her that was meant for other people and I suffered loss because of it. Sure, a lot of what happened was my fault for allowing myself to fall so very hard and fast, I admit that. But a lot of it wasnt. It should have been so much more.

Tonight was my time to let that go. As I watched the pages, drawing and even the envelopes burn I thought about her. I cried a little, Im not sure if I was sad for what could have been or what was. Probably a little of both. I feel better now though. I feel lighter, as if I was carrying something and finally have set it down.

It feels good.

The weekend: Saturday

**I figure it goes without saying but BDSM abounds here. If this isnt your thing, feel free to skip this entry.**

Saturday night we went back to Klub Layden again. I had plans to hook up with a new play partner and have some fun, I had no idea what was in store for me.

11 hours. I had sex for 11 hours.

The night started in the normal way, people watching and some good appetizers. Red (my friend) and I talked a few times and teased a bit. The girl and I had a clips and clamps scene in front of an amazing amount of people. The biggest audience I have done a scene in front of, I think. With her help, we did a good job.

After that there was more talk and fun, including sitting by the dance floor and watching a lot of topless women dancing and playing together. Red danced over after a while and said she was ready to get a room, I picked the Hell themed room. Flames on the wall, red and yellow streamers from the ceiling. After a short time or getting ready we walked in and started undressing. I pushed her down onto the bed and the night began.

I remember only vague flashes of what happened over the next 11 hours. There was a hitachi that was put to extensive use, a glass dildo that saw a lot of action and at a couple of different points there was crowd interaction.

Oh yeah, I left the door open. Something I have never done before there. After Red got nice and worked up into a lather, a simple word from me was all it took for her to come. I told her to come, and she did. Again and again. I decided at one point to see if it was me or the situation or what, I started asking passers by to tell her to come, including my girl. They all did and Red was a good girl and got off every time someone told her to. It was amazing.

Early in the night I told Red that I was going to make her come until she begged me to stop. She laughed pretty hard at me and I like to think that when she was rolling around on the bed uncontrollably orgasming everytime a voice told her to, that was when she realized that maybe she was wrong to laugh. :)

After a while we settled down into going a round or two and talking for w but and then something would be said or done and we would be off again. We finally left the room for a bathroom/hydration break and it was 7am. Both of us were shocked that it was that late at night/early in the morning, but we met back in the room and continued on our mission of having an incredible night.

Finally, around the ten hour mark, she started begging me to quit making her come. It took me most of another hour, another round or two with the hitachi and a liberal amount of lube to do so, but we had to stop.

It was an amazing night. I am still sore and its Wednesday. I dont think I could do that sort of thing very often any more, but it was damn fun to do once. Or maybe one more time :)

The weekend...Friday

I started this and then realized two things. One, each day was too good to write about separately. Two, I was getting sick. Apologies for taking so long to update...

**BDSM content abounds. I will tell you now that I had one of the very vest weekends of my life this past weekend and if you dont want to read BDSM stuff you can be glad for me and no hard feelings. :) ***

This past weekend. Im still struggling for words for a lot of what happened. Amazing and lifechanging things potentially. 

Friday night we went to Klub Layden. I have been talking to a hot 20 year old piece of ass for a few months now, we met in Lafayette and hung out at a coffee event once. I have been trying to talk her into coming to Layden for a long time now, well Friday night she decided to come. I told her she was going to be a rockstar there, she is very hot and a great person. I was right. People were still talking about her Sunday morning when the wife and I left Layden, more on this later. 

HPOA (Hot Piece Of Ass) and I met outside and she was already talking to a few dear friends of mine. I walked in with her and introduced her to the wife and a few other people and then gave her a tour of the place. Once all the sights had been seen and a little socializing had been done we decided she would ride the sybian they have there, with me at the controls. 

Her Master had set a few rules, which we were determined to play by. One of the rules was nothing inside her, so we thought that might present a problem. Then we found that there were two attachments. One was a dildo attachment and the other was a pad with a smooth side and a side with bumps.

Sweet Baby Jesus, this girl on a sybian. It was practically a religious experience for me. Again and again, orgasm after shrieking, screaming, clawing, growling at me "I fucking HATE YOU!" when I turned the sybian down orgasm. The growls. They were so hot. She was reduced to animalistic noises by this miracle of a machine and when she could take no more she lunged sideways onto the bed where I joined her for cuddles and aftercare and talk. And that was just round 1.

We realized once it got a little quieter that we could hear the people next door. I realized one of them sounded familiar. Yes, my girl and her friend were in the room next door. Far from awkward or intimidating, this was a very nice discovery. HPOA and I lay and whispered sexy and silly things and listened to them have sex. It was amazing. We later learned that they were also litening to us, as if they had a choice what with us being next door and HPOA being VERY vocal in her appreciation of the sybian.

Round 2 kicked off with a bit of slow teasing and then ramped back up to the shrieking and animal noises. At one point I tild her I was going to go get a bottle of water and not to come while I was gone. I had it turned down fairly low when I said this but when I rose to leave I turned it all the way up and dropped the controller. She looked at me murderously as I walked from the room. I have no idea how she did it, but she didnt get off until I came back. I was and still am very impressed by that. We did more of both orgasm denial and then forced orgasm play and eventually it got to be too much for her and she lunged sideways again and I joined her back on the bed.

It was so very cool laying there with her. At a couple of different points it was like she and I were the only two people in the universe and were sharing that mattress and that was it. We talked of silly things,sexy things, I dont even remember what all we talked about.

It was wonderful.

Other highlights of the night, I saw a really hot and sexy friend that I havent seen in a long time who recently had surgery and showed me her scar. It was wonderful seeing her again, I always forget how tall she is :)

Good conversations and interactions with a lot of people. My social anxieties fucked off for an evening, it was amazing. HPOA had quite a fan club and I understand she is still getting messages and friend requests on Fetlife.

Compersion. "Compersion is a state of happiness experienced when another individual experiences happiness and joy. It is commonly used to describe when a person experiences positive feelings when a lover is enjoying another relationship, especially in the context of polyamory." Well, I have that for Amy and her new friend. Its a new and wonderful feeling for me and for her as well.

Next up: Saturday night. 11 hours. I had sex for 11 hours...

The gym and random musings

I went to the gym tonight. I find that the later I go the more I like it. There are fewer people and for some reason that appeals to me a lot. I have been anti-social a lot lately, Im fighting the urge to isolate myself. Luckily I have some good friends who are usually doing stuff and I am included a lot. That feels pretty good. 

Tonights workout:

I started off tanning for 7 minutes. It relaxes me and warms me up to tan first, Im not sure if there are any benefits, I cant tell much difference in my skin tone or anything but I figure Im getting good vitamin D from the lights. Or something like that.

After the tan, I switched it up and went on the bike. I found an upright bike instead of a recumbent one and it was actually much more comfortable and easier on my knees. I did 1.5 miles in 4.5 minutes. Im planning to hold at 1.5 miles for a bit and then bump it up to 2 miles. That last quarter mile was a stone cold motherfucker, man, my knees were singing the blues. But I am proud of my time and distance.

After the bike I needed to rest my legs so I went into the sauna for 10 minutes or so to sit and relax. All during the bike ride and in the sauna I had the headphones in and was listening to the Johnny B Show, I can only imagine what people were thinking when I laughed out loud for no apparent reason.

After the sauna I went upstairs to my favorite treadmill and walked. I like a certain machine, its the only one with bars to hold that are up higher than the rest of the machines, thats more comfortable to me. I walked 15 minutes and did .7 of a mile. It felt oddly good.

Then it was back to the sauna for 10 minutes to sweat a little more and relax.

I am thinking about going on alternate nights and tanning and then swimming. Swimming seemed a good workout and I think it worked different muscles than walking or biking. I can keep my knee pain under control with ibuprofen, its still hurts pretty bad sometimes but I hope they are getting stronger.

I am now off to watch the latest episode of the wonderful show Justified as a reward for my working out :)


***BDSM talk beyond this point***

This Friday is an event at Klub Layden, a gathering for Littles, Middles, Ponies and Puppies and all other critters. I am very much looking forward to it, I plan to sit with the Littles and watch them color and play, and I want to interact with the critters too. Im never sure what to do around puppies, but its fascinating to see someone get so far into it and the joy it brings them. It should be fun and likely will be written about. 

Gym time and reconnecting

Went to the gym again today. I walked for 15 minutes but I somehow fucked up the treadmill computer halfway through so I dont know how far I walked. I know I was on a pace to beat my last distance though. I also biked half a mile before my right leg started cramping. That sort of sucked, but I knew I was a little dehydrated going in so it wasnt totally unexpected. I bought a big bottle of water for $1 and went to sit in the sauna. I love the sauna, its hot as fuck in there and warms me all the way through to my core. Sure, I sweat like Mike Tyson at a spelling bee, but thats the point. I did make one mistake though. I figured I was warm enough all the way through and tried to be a badass by not wearing my heavy coat out to the truck when I left. I just had on my hoodie and sweatpants. By the time I got halfway to the truck I was shivering and calling myself a dumbass. But I lived and I feel pretty damn good right now. I also sat the tanning bed for 7 minutes. 5 minutes didnt warm me up enough to start the workout and 10 burned me so I have settled on 7 for now to start with.

Also had a good day building up the connection with Amy. We have been feeling sort of disconnected and lonely lately and we had some good intimate time today and a lot of talk and it helped a lot. Hopefully we can keep going and continue to build the connection. Friday we go to dinner at the new guy friends house, I am looking forward to that a lot.

So far this has been a very middle of the road week, I was depressed as fuck Monday and Tuesday and today it lifted nicely. Hopefully it continues to lift and I can get back to some sort of normal, especially since I now have 90 days worth of all of my meds and am religiously trying to take them as scheduled. Hopefully it starts to warm up in a few weeks and maybe I can stop being cold all the time and start feeling better more often.

I hate winter...

Operation -70 by GLLA is GO!

Begun, the workouts have. I weighed myself tonight, had a picture taken of me and went to the gym for the first serious time. GLLA is in late August and I want to be down under 300 pounds.

I fucking weigh 368 pounds. 368. That number keeps ringing in my head. It sounds like a bell made of failure and Fuck You. I didnt have weight loss surgery and go through the year afterwards so I could weigh 368 pounds. I didnt suffer like I did, learn to eat again, cry and want to kill myself because it hurt so bad and because I wanted to eat so bad just to carry my ass back to 368 pounds. I didnt go from near death, raging diabetes, dangerously high blood pressure and being unable to walk a flight of steps without a cat at the top meowing encouragement at me (yes, seriously. Ask Amy if you dont believe me.) just to go back to 368 pounds.

It could be worse. I was convinced I was over 400. If I had been, it would have sent me to a deep dark place I dont even want to think about any more. It took me damn near a week to get up the courage to step on that scale I was so sure. I know I scared Amy talking about it. I made sure to weigh while she was here so she wouldnt be worrying.

Tonight at the gym I started off with 5 minutes in the tanning bed. That got me warm pretty much and hopefully didnt make the burns I got when I jumped to ten minutes any worse. I think tanning is going to help with my depression, I have been 5-6 times over the past week or so and I can feel it starting to ease up a little. I see my brain doc tomorrow and get refills on my sleeping pills and antidepressant boosters so that should help too.

After the tan I walked for 15 minutes on the treadmill. I varied the speed and could never really figure out the right speed to walk at consistently. In 15 minutes I did .56 of a mile. I think I may switch that part up and walk for distance instead of time and keep track of how much time it takes to go, say, .75 of a mile to start. I dont like the treadmill, for some reason it made me dizzy. When it gets warmer I will probably start walking outside or find a track or something.

Then I got on a recumbent bike and did a mile. That took almost 6 minutes, clocking in at 5:56. I have no idea if this is good or not but I hurt a little after the mile so I stopped there.

Then it was time for the sauna. I spent about 15 minutes inside, sweating like a Republican at a truth telling contest and drinking water. I didnt drink enough apparently, Im cramping a little in my foot. Must remember to drink more water.

Now the real test. Lets see how I feel when I wake up, if I can walk tomorrow. I remain optomistic...

Achievement unlocked and an old friend becomes a new experience

Achievement Unlocked: Join a Gym. I have joined Golds Gym in Indianapolis on the East side. The locations is near my house and is open 24/7, which suits my vampiric sleep schedule and allows for what I hope will be peaceful middle of the night trips to a mostly empty gym where I can start to get healthier without dealing with a huge crowd of people.

The main attractions of this gym for me:

A 25 meter lap pool. This calculates to 32 laps down and back to equal one mile and that seems insanely far right now.

A sauna. Other than working up a sweat Im really not certain about the benefits of saunas, I will be looking it up to see what I can find out though.

Free tanning. To be honest, this was the thing that hooked me. During the winter months I am pretty sure that if I could tan regularly I could avoid a lot of the Seasonal Affective Disorder and resulting depression I undergo. It really wasnt that bad this year until about a month ago and then depression just kicked my ass with both feet. Believe me, Im not going to go for a George Hamilton look here, I just want to get through a winter without feeling like killing myself.

They have a large number of treadmill/bicycle type machines. Most of the bikes/treadmills are located upstairs in lines in a room but there are some inside a darkened theater with a projection system showing movies. This could be cool at times I suppose, if it was a good movie.

There are also weight machines to build certain muscle groups and free weights. I likely wont be messing with these a lot at first. Another interesting thing, the gym recently expanded and put in a large unconventional workout area where stuff like you see in strongman competitions and MMA reality training shows can happen. Likely I will be staying out of this area too. There are also a variety of free classes, Zumba and such, and a racquetball court.

I am going to take a page from the lesson book of my love, Heidi from the Internet. She started working out and overdid it at first and was in huge amounts of pain, so I am planning to start pretty slow and work upwards as I build stamina and strength. I figure my goals to start should be:

1 length of the pool as a warm up and then 3 laps swimming.
10 minutes on the bicycle
Tan for the recommended time as a break
10 minutes on the treadmill
Look into the sauna and maybe end the workout in the sauna for the recommended amount of time.

Im not sure what order to put these things in but I get a free hour with a workout professional, whatever that is, so I figure they can help me or I can start Googling stuff till I find a satisfactory answer.

I am also psyching myself up to step on a scale for the first time in over 18 months. I know I have gained a lot of weight and will probably be crying when I realize just how much, but I deserve it. I have been eating like shit and not taking care of me.

Its time to take care of me for a while. Body and brain.

***Beyond this point there is BDSM talk and Poly talk. I know there are readers here who would rather skip over these parts so I try to warn you when they are coming. Consider yourself warned ***

We went to Klub Layden in Muncie last night. Its been a few weeks since we have been there because of sickness and timing problems and it was a needed release for both Amy and I. I had a totally unplanned surprise hookup with an old and dear friend and it went very well. It wasnt totally unexpected, we have been circling each other for at least a couple of months talking and sort of feeling each other out, I was really hoping something would happen sooner or later and it did. We have good energy together and the chemistry and styles we have are hot as fuck together. Apart from an eye shooting out incident, it went very well and is an experience I very much hope to repeat.

A bit later in the evening, a new friend was walking naked in the hallway and brushed past me and stopped to talk to people. A friendly touch on the shoulder led to a full on arm restraint from behind hold from me on her while the woman I had been with earlier did a little nipple/breast torture with fingernails. I think maybe our victim would have been able to stand it had I not started biting her shoulders. Her knees went weak and I damn near had to hold her up. It got rather hot for a few minutes but it was all in play and we let her go eventually. I love when spontaneous things like that happen. Its amazing.

Amy has a new friend. I dont have her permission to talk about him here so I will leave it at that and say that I like both him and his wife, they seem to be very nice and good people. Amy seems pretty happy too and thats the most important thing here. As far as my own poly life, Im not sure whats going on there. I have stopped actively looking for anyone to have a relationship with, I have come to the conclusion that I suck at that and need to work on myself for a while. I still have certain people in my life, the ones that will always be there. I will never willingly let go of them, they know who they are. But as far as a secondary relationship of a poly fashion, Im just not sure I am interested right now. Of course now that I have said that, someone will show up and knock me for a loop and the ride on the crazy train will start all over again. Or will it? I think I am better than that. I will always be open to the right person entering my life and changing it but I think I am done letting them in unless its going to be positive change. I have been moving towards this goal for some time now, therapy has helped a lot and continues to and I have met some wonderful people and had some good experiences. This year has been sort of a bummer so far, broken cars and the plague making the rounds, the death of a dear friend and the leaving of a very sweet beagle, But I honestly think change is in the wind. It will be, that is, if the fucking wind in Indiana ever stops bringing snow.

So this turned into a bigger brain dump than I thought it would. In a good way, I feel like I quieted the bees that have been buzzing in my head a bit and let some stuff go that needed letting go. I am now going to weigh myself and as a motivator I will be posting that weight on Facebook.

Jeebus give me strength...

Depression and dinner

Today I made french onion soup for the first time. I made it for dinner by special request of the girl, who is sick and wanted some soup. It turned out pretty damn good, nice and oniony with a hint of the mushrooms I diced and added. The mushrooms also thickened it a little which was nice.

I served it with croutons and mozzarella cheese on top. the boiling soup turned the cheese and croutons into one giant bowl of onion flavored goodness. Im really liking getting back into the kitchen, I have a loaf of bread going now, in fact.

The depression is back. I have been wondering when it was going to hit again, and here it is. Money problems, communication problems and other life issues have been adding up and its just a little overwhelming. Things are getting better slowly, at least they were until the clutch on Amy's car decided it was a good time to go out and take the brakes on my car with them. The brakes will last a bit longer but the clutch is shot.

I feel like I have a million things inside me all pushing and pulling in different directions. They all buzz like bees. Its a feeling I have had many times before but it actually went away for a while and it was very nice. Now its back. Im hoping that continuing therapy and staying on my meds will take them away again. I was hoping to join a gym and start exercising and tanning regularly, I really think that would help, but the money just isnt there right now what with the cars going bad. Soon.

Daddy Issues and other various things...

I have been thinking a lot about my Daddy side lately. I think in the new year I am going to try and nurture that side of me and see what happens with it. A few things and experiences of varying degrees brought these feelings on.

In the past month or so I have met three women who are into Daddy/girl play of one form or another. It fascinating the differences there can be in the same basic dynamic. One is very closeted about it and is almost shy about talking about it but when you bring out the incest roleplay and talk it gets her going in a major way. The taboo of it totally turns her on. Another has self professed Daddy issues and it really gets her off to be talked to like she is a little girl being spoken to by her father. The third really loves role play and slips into it unconsciously at times during conversations. Whether sexual or not she loves the roleplay.

There is another girl too, a friend I have had for years. We have an on and off Uncle/niece relationship that isnt sexual at all. She is a little with me and I am her protector and Big person. We have been to dinner in these roles and it was amazing. She was concerned that someone might make fun of her teddy bear and rainbow socks and I was able to assure her that no one would be doing that while I was around her. It felt good to be her protector, its a feeling I like a lot. We talked tonight, in fact, and agreed that we were going to get together soon and talk about furthering our Big/little relationship. That felt good. She is in another state about to have emergency surgery and I was totally ready to drive there and take her a stuffed animal she loves because she needed it. Thats the amount of protectiveness the right girl can inspire in me. It really pushes buttons deep inside me if its the right person. I say person because there have been guys that have pushed these buttons too. Thats another angle of this thing I hope to explore one day.

Dont get me wrong, I am still a huge sadist. Giving pain is still a major turn on for me and I think it always will be. I have a bit of a reputation in our circles as a heavy player and someone to be more or less feared. I enjoyed that for a long time but I think now its time to change the rules of the game and take a look at the softer side of me. I still want to play heavy and there are a few things I want to do that I dont know if I will ever find the right person to do them with, but the more sensual and seductive forms of play have become more and more interesting to me lately.

On New Years Eve, the three scenes I had with TallGingerGirl were indicative of this. The spanking part of our play wasnt very heavy, it was pretty sensual. The midnight kiss it got me was fucking amazing too, lip and tongue bite and all. The violet wand part of the scene was really fun, but a lot of that was the talking and laughing we were doing, I enjoyed that as much as anything else. The hitachi part of the evening was just hot as fuck and had the added good feeling of her telling me I was one of the three people she would trust do do that with her.

Another thing that is interesting to me. I have almost completely stopped confusing my protective side with the White Knight that lives inside me. They are vastly different. The White Knight is, for lack of better words, fucking stupid. He does what he does in hopes of winning approval from people who I most of the time shouldnt be seeking approval from anyway. I have recently ended all contact with the last two of these people in my life and I feel pretty good about it. It feels good to have recognized that my White Knight has limits and was exceeding them and doing more harm than good. I dont need to be trying to rescue or fix anyone, I can barely take care of my fucking self.

--

Speaking of the New Year, I have set a few goals for the coming year. Im not calling them resolutions because they really arent, its just stuff I want to do and in some cases should have done long ago. I really need to get my shit together.

Im planning to join a gym at some point. So far the money hasnt been right for me to but I have the gym picked out and its open 24/7 so I can go at odd hours as my sleep schedule allows and figure out a workout that helps me as well as swimming and tanning and hot tubbing. I think it will help my depression and my general health, I have put on weight again this winter without meaning to and need to lose it.

I have emptied the Kindle of books and am going to download books to it as I read them. My goal is to read at least 8 books this year, new books that I have never read before.

I want to get a decent job. I find myself longing for a 9-5 type thing, something I never thought I would want. A regular schedule, decent pay and maybe even benefits.

We will see what becomes of all this. I also want to take more pictures and write more both here and in my other journal. Those things I am pretty sure I can do...

Social Media and Bucket Lists

So its only the second of January and already I am seeing a lot of negativity and passive aggressiveness on social media. What the fuck, humans? Are you not going to even give the new year a chance to gt underway good before you start dwelling on shit from the past? Some free advice from your old Uncle Bill, it makes you look bad. It changes the way people think about you. It keeps negativity and useless feelings in your mind. What grade are we in now?

Disclaimer: When I say negativity and passive aggressiveness, Im not talking about Vaguebooking once in a while or venting on any social media site once in a while. Everyone falls to that level very occasionally. Im talking about constantly, even over time, sniping and lobbing hurtful things from the sidelines. Im talking about acting as if you were never happy with that one person or living in that one place or having that one thing. If you were never happy and stayed/lived/existed so long, you pretty much deserve the butthurt you are experiencing. If you were happy, even occasionally, and stayed that long then you did so for a reason and you should dwell on the happy times and what you took away from that and from those times.

Its pretty much not a secret that The Girl and I have had a rough time for a while in our relationship. Stress coming from both the outside and from within came probably closer than either of us realize to tearing us apart. It scared the fuck out of me and still does when I think about it, but neither of us ever took to social media and fired shots at the other. There was random Vaguebooking and Fetlife sniping, but it was mostly done without thinking and there damn sure wasnt a lot of it and most of what there was was misdirected. As I said, everyone falls to that level once in a while.

Since I restarted therapy, I have been learning new ways of dealing with feelings and emotions that can tend to bring such times about. I have made some pretty big steps recently in letting go of and dealing with feelings and thoughts about certain things that affected our relationship and still continue to do so. Not to be immodest, but I am sort of proud of myself and I like the feeling, both the feeling I got when I dealt with things in a productive way and the feeling that continues of less stress and trouble in my primary relationship. It feels good to deal with things and be able to say that I did it in a productive and helpful manner instead of resorting to sniper shots from the dark and overblowing the negatives until they are huge and mythical. I am learning to trust and to accept trust when it is offered to me also. This is huge for me.

I have never been one for New Years resolutions. I usually blow them off pretty quickly, like most other people, and forget about them. A few friends on Fetlife and Facebook have started doing Bucket Lists for each year and then going back at the end of the year to check their progress or posting updates through the year as they check off a list item. I think this may be a good substitute and have started working on a 2014 Bucket List:

1. I want to lose 50 pounds before GLLA 2014
2. I want to do the Exotic Feline Rescue Center’s “Run Through The Jungle” 5k walk/run in May 2014
3. In an effort to make the above two happen as well as get my body in better shape to go along with getting my mind in better shape, I am going to join Golds Gym and start exercising more
4. Continue to work on improving my primary relationship. Develop a healthy and good secondary relationship(s). There are already candidates for this that I like very much. This is a good feeling and a good thing

I think thats enough of a list for now, there are some pretty big goals there. Enough to keep me busy for a while, I suspect. Some of the people I know are also doing kinky bucket lists, I am going to work on one of those and make it a separate post.

Now I go forth onto the internet and attempt to locate the unicorn that is a pair of size 18 high top sneakers that dont cost a million dollars because they have some asshole I dont care abouts name on them. Preferably in black. The shoes, not the asshole I dont care about.

Wish me luck...

New Years Eve

New Years Eve

We spent New Years Eve this year at a new place, a swing club. They have started hosting kink events and are very kink friendly, both the wife and I have become very friendly with the owners and several people there. They had a huge New Years Eve party last night and we attended, along with a lot of other people we know.

It was a blast. I saw a lot of kinky play, from rope to impact play to violet wand play. I helped a pup do his first topping scene and he knocked it out of the park. I taught him a bit about canes and crops as he worked over the back of a very sexy girl. We all agreed that he has a slight sadist in him somewhere and that we would meet again and try to bring it out a little more. Looking forward to that.

I had three different scenes with the same girl, all of them amazing. Im going to call her TallGingerGirl when I write about her, because she is tall and a ginger. We started out with a violet wand scene, her second of the night and my first in a long time. We played with the wand for a while, talking and laughing and zapping and touching and wow, it was great. Then she shared with me that I was one of the very few people she would trust to use a Hitachi on her, and that since it was New Years Eve, we should go get the other two people she trusted and try it out.

Well who am I to argue with a pretty girl, right?

Arrangements were made and people were fetched and suddenly I was holding the legs of a six foot redhead while another guy held her arms and a beautiful woman fucked her with a toy and used a Hitachi on her. I felt like one of the luckiest bastards on the face of the earth. I started spanking her thigh and rubbing her here and there and pretty soon it all became too much for her, there was a sensory overload it seemed. She needed to stop and we did. The other two left and I held her and rubbed her back for a while as she recovered and we talked. That was pretty amazing.

And then began the spanking portion of the evenings program.

It started out slowly, touches and light almost teasing slaps on the butt and backs of the thighs. Pretty soon we were both very interested in where it was going to go and a few implements of ass destruction came out. A crop was used and a cane as well. We figured she was more of a thud lover than a sting girl and went back to the hand, and soon I could tell that she was pretty close to being done. About that time we heard a voice over the PA say “One minute till midnight” and there was a slight panic, as we had no idea the New Year was so close. I had promised the wife a kiss at midnight and the only way I could think to deliver would be to run out shirtless and shoeless, kiss her at midnight and run back to the room before people started throwing things at my big ass. I sort of laughed a little at this thought and then it was time for the countdown and TGG and I agreed we would kiss each other. Now that I think about it, that was our first real kiss. There had been a small kiss or two before then but nothing major, however the kiss at midnight was absolutely pants tightening. She bit my tongue after going for my lip and missing and then bit my lip and drew a little blood, it was hot as fuck. I still have a sore on the inside of my lip and still run my tongue over it regularly and revel in the pain and memories of that kiss. We finished up shortly after that and I went to find the wife and take my kick in the ass.

Turned out she was pretty understanding about me missing the kiss and actually amused when I told her about thinking about running out there. She knows I didnt do it on purpose and that we are going to have a great year together anyway. We spent a lot of the rest of the night talking and laughing about it and being among friends, both together and separately, which is huge for me and for us. We have had our fair share of problems recently but they are being defeated and dealt with one by one and will continue to be until they are all gone and we are as strong as ever as a couple.

Both of us are damned determined to make that so...