It was a really slow night tonight Ubering. My last passengers were three really nice girls, college students, and we got to talking. It was a fairly long ride and they were talking about a bad date one of them had the night before. Then one of them asked me what was the worst date I ever had and I related the following story:
It was about ten years ago, in between my first marriage and when I met Amy. I was on OKCupid and hit it off with this girl. We decided to go on a date. She told me I needed to pick her up, she didnt have a car, and she wanted me to pick her up in the front of her apartment complex. Sketchy, but OK.
I got there and she was on her phone. She got into my truck and waved hello and kept talking. We had agreed to go to a place near there so I headed to the restaurant and she kept talking. I was listening and it wasnt anything that was an emergency or anything, just regular life stuff. After about 5 minutes she got off the phone and we talked a bit, she seemed distracted and I asked if everything was OK. She said yes, and we arrived and went in to eat.
Right after we ordered, her phone rang again and she took the call. She talked until the food came and then hung up and ate. We both ordered fairly expensive dinners, I remember that, but I dont remember what we ate. We talked for maybe 10 minutes as we ate and, you guessed it, her phone rang again and she answered it. She talked as I ordered dessert and ate most of it. She talked as I told her I was going to the bathroom. She shushed me when I said that.
Oh, hell no. I bounced.
I hit the bathroom, went out the door and got into the truck. Bitch was still on her phone. I watched as the waiter brought her the check. She continued talking. I drove home.
About ten minutes later I get a text. "Where are you? The check is here!"
I was at a friends house talking BIG shit about her and laughing by this point. She told me to block her. I said no and texted back. "I'm at my friends house, thanks for dinner and being so fucking rude. I figure you can call someone to get you home, you obviously have a lot of friends who want to talk to you."
She starts blowing my phone up with texts and calls. Im playing the voicemails back for my friend and a group of people and we are all LOL'ing hard. after about half an hour the calls and texts stop. I had a nice evening among friends and went home to 3 emails full of madness at me. One more LOL, I deleted them and blocked her on my phone and OKC. That's the last I heard from her.
I do know she paid for dinner...
Sunday, January 3, 2016
Friday, January 1, 2016
New Years Eve
So...last night Ubering. I started out about 7pm and went until almost 8:30am because I kept getting ride after ride at the end of the shift. I was trying for a goal I had set early in the night but I fell $14 short when I got suddenly what I call "stupid tired" and had to stop driving. I averaged $23 an hours, so I'll accept that.
The night started off nicely, a few big groups headed to bars or parties and a couple of people headed to work or home from work. Lots of good conversation and listening as people talked. The guy who told his female friend to go ahead and buy cats was legendary, I told that story the rest of the night.
The night took an ugly turn just after midnight when, for the next 3-4 hours, all I hauled around were dumbfucks who didnt know how to handle their alcohol for the most part. The people that stick out were:
I punched a guy in the face. I was called to an address and met by a group of cops. One of them said he was glad it was me, I thought we knew each other, but it turned out he meant he was glad I was male and big. They had a couple that had been kicked out of a house party and needed to go home. He asked if I was good with that and I walked to the woman for a minute and get the address, she was fairly coherent. I agreed I would take them and they got in and we left. For the next ten minutes they guy tried to explain what happened while she said they would talk about it when they got home, then she just snapped. Turns out he had turned into an asshole among the people from her work and they had called the cops, now she was really embarrassed. He explained that they had no lives and were white trash, she pointed out they were just like her. He agreed and I thought "Bad move, dickhead"
She went the fuck off. For the next few minutes it was verbal abuse going back and forth and then he said he would punch her in the face. At this point I stepped in. I informed them that the first punch I saw thrown would result in the ride ending and the cops being called. This quieted them down for all of a minute and then it started again. Then he threw a punch.
I stopped in the middle of 38th street, a 6 lane busy road, and jumped out. This guys first indication there was a problem was when I grabbed the back of his collar, lifted him out of the van and threw him onto the median onto the grass. He looked very surprised. A cop was a few cars back and turned his lights on and came up behind us. I explained the situation and gave him the address of the pickup, he got on his radio and confirmed the story after cuffing the guy. He then told me the guy would be going to jail. I turned to the woman and told her I would take care of her and get her home if she wanted, and he lost his shit. He started yelling about how I was saying I would fuck her and ran at me for a headbutt. So I punched him in the face. While he was handcuffed. Not my proudest moment, but I hate being headbutted. The cop looked at me and I pretty much said sorry and looked down, he said it was OK and put the guy in his car. I took the woman home and she tipped me $20 because she was so embarrassed, apologizing again and again.
Another couple argued all the way home because apparently someone called her a bitch and he didnt do anything about it. He pointed out that the girl who called her a bitch had several male friends along and what did she want him to do? Also he pointed out that she didnt do anything about it either, I figured that was a pretty fair point. Equality and all...
I picked up a very cute gay man who talked on his phone about going to a place that would be very busy at 5am. I asked if I could ask where might be busy at 5am, he asked if I had ever heard of a gay bathhouse in a very tenative voice. I said "Yeah, Club Indy over on Capitol Ave?" and the amazement on his face was hilarious. He asked is I was gay and I said "Not that I know of" and he laughed. We talked for a while as he assessed the amount of knowledge I had about the local gay culture, bars and such. As I dropped him off, he invited me to go to Club Indy with him. I told him I couldnt but that it had nothing to do with him, I needed to get home to sleep since I had been driving for almost 12 hours. I did plan at that point to go home but it didnt work out that way. I think he took one of my cards, they have my number and email on them.
I had a very cool discussion about polyamory and being poly with a girl who was curious about it. She and her friend started talking about it and I heard a little misleading info go back and forth so I volunteered some corrections and they started asking questions. I told them I could only offer answers from my particular version of poly and they were fascinated to find out that there were no hard and fast rules but that each couple can pretty much customize it for themselves. They asked about my wife and girlfriends and rules and such, I was happy to share and we had a very nice ride.
So all in all it wasnt a terrible night, just a good night with a few brutal hours in the middle of it. For the amount of money I made, I'll take that. I wouldnt want nights like that all the time but for a big night once in a while, Im good.
The night started off nicely, a few big groups headed to bars or parties and a couple of people headed to work or home from work. Lots of good conversation and listening as people talked. The guy who told his female friend to go ahead and buy cats was legendary, I told that story the rest of the night.
The night took an ugly turn just after midnight when, for the next 3-4 hours, all I hauled around were dumbfucks who didnt know how to handle their alcohol for the most part. The people that stick out were:
I punched a guy in the face. I was called to an address and met by a group of cops. One of them said he was glad it was me, I thought we knew each other, but it turned out he meant he was glad I was male and big. They had a couple that had been kicked out of a house party and needed to go home. He asked if I was good with that and I walked to the woman for a minute and get the address, she was fairly coherent. I agreed I would take them and they got in and we left. For the next ten minutes they guy tried to explain what happened while she said they would talk about it when they got home, then she just snapped. Turns out he had turned into an asshole among the people from her work and they had called the cops, now she was really embarrassed. He explained that they had no lives and were white trash, she pointed out they were just like her. He agreed and I thought "Bad move, dickhead"
She went the fuck off. For the next few minutes it was verbal abuse going back and forth and then he said he would punch her in the face. At this point I stepped in. I informed them that the first punch I saw thrown would result in the ride ending and the cops being called. This quieted them down for all of a minute and then it started again. Then he threw a punch.
I stopped in the middle of 38th street, a 6 lane busy road, and jumped out. This guys first indication there was a problem was when I grabbed the back of his collar, lifted him out of the van and threw him onto the median onto the grass. He looked very surprised. A cop was a few cars back and turned his lights on and came up behind us. I explained the situation and gave him the address of the pickup, he got on his radio and confirmed the story after cuffing the guy. He then told me the guy would be going to jail. I turned to the woman and told her I would take care of her and get her home if she wanted, and he lost his shit. He started yelling about how I was saying I would fuck her and ran at me for a headbutt. So I punched him in the face. While he was handcuffed. Not my proudest moment, but I hate being headbutted. The cop looked at me and I pretty much said sorry and looked down, he said it was OK and put the guy in his car. I took the woman home and she tipped me $20 because she was so embarrassed, apologizing again and again.
Another couple argued all the way home because apparently someone called her a bitch and he didnt do anything about it. He pointed out that the girl who called her a bitch had several male friends along and what did she want him to do? Also he pointed out that she didnt do anything about it either, I figured that was a pretty fair point. Equality and all...
I picked up a very cute gay man who talked on his phone about going to a place that would be very busy at 5am. I asked if I could ask where might be busy at 5am, he asked if I had ever heard of a gay bathhouse in a very tenative voice. I said "Yeah, Club Indy over on Capitol Ave?" and the amazement on his face was hilarious. He asked is I was gay and I said "Not that I know of" and he laughed. We talked for a while as he assessed the amount of knowledge I had about the local gay culture, bars and such. As I dropped him off, he invited me to go to Club Indy with him. I told him I couldnt but that it had nothing to do with him, I needed to get home to sleep since I had been driving for almost 12 hours. I did plan at that point to go home but it didnt work out that way. I think he took one of my cards, they have my number and email on them.
I had a very cool discussion about polyamory and being poly with a girl who was curious about it. She and her friend started talking about it and I heard a little misleading info go back and forth so I volunteered some corrections and they started asking questions. I told them I could only offer answers from my particular version of poly and they were fascinated to find out that there were no hard and fast rules but that each couple can pretty much customize it for themselves. They asked about my wife and girlfriends and rules and such, I was happy to share and we had a very nice ride.
So all in all it wasnt a terrible night, just a good night with a few brutal hours in the middle of it. For the amount of money I made, I'll take that. I wouldnt want nights like that all the time but for a big night once in a while, Im good.
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